Hurricanes Guardian; Wind control isn't the only reason it blows.

Today we look at the Hartford Whalers Carolina Hurricanes' Guardian. Since Stan Lee and his team at Marvel have been so creative in making their characters, I'm sure he was going to come up with something completely innovative, original, and awesome, and NOT just crank The Scorpions "Rock You Like a Hurricane" and draw a generic picture of some guy crapping a tornado. Oh wait, that's exactly what he did:

I can hear the German hair metal now

Blackhawks Guardian: Ripoff in the Windy City

Today's Guardian recap is going to touch on the Chicago Blackhawks, and the wonders that Stan Lee's team came up with. Ok look, we knew it was going to have to have something to do with wind. I mean, with the Chicago Blackhawks you basically have four choices:

1. Wind
2. Mobsters
3. Michael Jordan
4. 25 or 6 to 4 (wrong Chicago) 

Ok, so three choices. Look, playing off the Native American aspect is a no-no. With the legal battles that the University of North Dakota is going through and the fact that St. John's has become one big PMS joke (Red Storm? Really? What, was the St. John's Aunt Flo's already taken?) I can imagine that Marvel wanted to avoid that completely. Especially since it's apparently impossible to portray Native Americans without completely stereotyping them.

  Mortal Kombat II set back Native American progress a good 26 years.

The King Guardian Released; Makes Strong Case for Regicide.

The second of the 30 NHL Guardians was released last week, and the fans decided they wanted to see what Stan Lee's crackhead  crackshot team came up with. I too, was curious. After all, the idea of a king has many possibilities. History is littered with superheroes, literary characters, high school bands, video games, and movies based on kings in one way, shape or form.

Thankfully they're not all as creepy as this one.

Not to mention, the city of Los Angeles offers some possibilities as well. After all, it literally translates to "City of Angels" so there's opportunity there as well (as long as they keep Nicolas Cage out of things). So naturally, my interest was piqued. This is what they came up with:

NHL Superheroes---Now with Real Plagiarism!!

So in what is sure to be one of the top nominees for the "Who the Hell Saw That Coming" Awards, the NHL has entered into a partnership with Marvel demigod Stan Lee (Stan Lee...Stanley Cup? Coincidence?) to create superheroes for every NHL team, codenamed The Guardian Project. I kind of see where they're going with this. For many sports teams, a mascot can be a fan favorite. As an Islanders fan, I can't tell you how much Sparky merchandise the Islanders sell, and how many kids in the stands could not care less about the game and spend the entire time looking for that damn six foot dragon.

Not to be confused with Chasing the Dragon

Still, it seems like an odd partnership. Most of the time when you picture your average comic book reader and your average hockey fan, you don't exactly get the same image. I mean, could you see Chris Pronger walking into a comic book store to pick up the latest Spiderman? (answer: no, because that would imply that Chris Pronger has the ability to read).