Sunday, January 9, 2011

The King Guardian Released; Makes Strong Case for Regicide.

The second of the 30 NHL Guardians was released last week, and the fans decided they wanted to see what Stan Lee's crackhead  crackshot team came up with. I too, was curious. After all, the idea of a king has many possibilities. History is littered with superheroes, literary characters, high school bands, video games, and movies based on kings in one way, shape or form.

Thankfully they're not all as creepy as this one.

Not to mention, the city of Los Angeles offers some possibilities as well. After all, it literally translates to "City of Angels" so there's opportunity there as well (as long as they keep Nicolas Cage out of things). So naturally, my interest was piqued. This is what they came up with:

It's like looking into a mirror

I haven't been to Los Angeles in a while, and it looks like whoever drew this thing haven't been either. I was unaware that L.A. is a land of fire and lava now. Seriously, slap an eyepatch on that guy and with the environment I could've sworn that was Kurt Russel in "Escape from L.A." 

Kurt  also played Herb Brooks in Miracle. See? It all ties together.

Not to mention, I was unaware that Los Angeles was full of castles as if this was some tour through the Italian countryside. I mean, I suppose that could be Disneyland but it's missing that quaint "corporate greed" feel that Disney has to it. Although speaking of Disney and movies, I'm pretty sure I've seen that castle somewhere.....

YOU try finding a Little Mermaid castle on Google without the wang highlighted

Other than that, it's kinda hard to fault what they did. The King does kind of look cool. I would've added a crown to his head, but that might have been overkill with the logo on his chest. Still, the one thing I have legitimate beef with is the shield. It's see through, like every good riot shield should. I mean, it's not like there have been any riots in L.A. or anything. Oh wait....

The L.A. Rodney King? Sigh.

I bet that's just an oversight. After all, I'm sure the powers they come up with for The King will be completely tasteful while evoking fond memories of L.A's rich history:
A regal ambassador of the city of Los Angeles. Has a shield that creates force fields and a sword that causes earthquakes. 
How nice. "Regal ambassador" has quite the classy ring to it wait did they say earthquakes? They seriously are giving the power of "causing earthquakes" to The King? Makes sense. In 1994, a 6.7 earthquake on the (Mike) Richter scale caused $12.5 billion in damage and killed 72 people. In 1987 an earthquake killed 8 people and caused over $350 million in damage.  You know, let's just give a team in England the power to "sink luxury cruiseliners" or a team in Germany the power to "set giant inflatable aircrafts on fire."

Too soon?

So first, Stan Lee rips off his own work with The Penguin, and now manages to stereotype the worst of a city with The King. Tune in next week, when Stan Lee manages to make orphans cry with his next creation.

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